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Posted 7 months ago

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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Posted 7 months ago

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

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Posted 7 months ago

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

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Posted 7 months ago

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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Posted 7 months ago

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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Posted 7 months ago

What you call dog with no legs? Don’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.

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Posted 7 months ago

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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Posted 7 months ago

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

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Posted 7 months ago

The road to success is always under construction.

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Posted 7 months ago

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.